I have to be honest.
I'm feeling the pressure of this class.
Not during our studio time on tuesdays and thursdays,
But while I'm at home. I get lost. I get misguided, distracted, unmotivated.

A deep part of my soul longs to make art and be fully connected to my artist self.
Another part of me is ambivalent. scared. frustrated. insecure. overwhelmed.

I am fighting to be spontaneous and still harboring the desire to plan, to work linearly on one thing at a time. I want to do all of it at once, but that feels too scattered and ambitious. I suppose my inquire and this project are growing larger than me and simply taking charge.


I found a book in my office/ the resource room today. I took it home and spend a long time looking through pondering making my own book. It's a book about bookmaking and it has some great designs that I've never seen before, very playful and fun. I'll have to try one!

"Two spreads at a time, both unfinished.. now I want to make a book... I still have to start that painting... I don't want to do anything." I am fighting the inner critic on and off..I feel like I'm my own client right now.. I'm gaining awareness of how my mental/ time cycle distracts and discourages me from creating.


I have been making some progress. My reflections of the undergrad art show pointed to experimenting with some repetition in my work. It happened pretty unconsciously this week, which I find interesting and exciting that things don't always have to be planned and purposeful to be..right.

Lately I have felt really stuck with the written side of my art journaling. I've been creating these fresh and exciting art pages and have been apprehensive to add words, but they are slowly trickling back in. This spread gained personal meaning as I worked on it a week or so ago and it led me to add a few words on the page in class. Then a few nights ago, I added the lyrics to a song that resonated with me.
I think my first theme has developed...finally! And not surprisingly, it's faith.